Daniel Cabrera

He's wearing a new pair of glasses tonight, straight out of Major League (and there are about as many people in the stands in Baltimore as there were in Ricky Vaughn's first game with eyewear). I can just see the pre-game conversation in the locker room:

Kris Benson: "Young man, they look nice. I had a pair just like 'em."
Cabrera: (rolling eyes) "Well after the game I'm gonna pick out a pair that's more me."
Benson: "Good luck."
Sam Perlozzo: "They look good. Besides, seeing's the most important thing, son."
Cory Patterson: "I don't think it's that important."
Cabrera: (looking in mirror after everyone else walks away) "Fuuuuuuuuck."

There's no word on whether or not Benson was hit in the back of the head with an flying bat during batting practice, but as long as this game doesn't end with Ramon Hernandez telling Trot Nixon he saw Trot's wife out dancing with her panties on some guy's head, I'll be happy.

Seriously, though, if all that's been bothering Cabrera is his eyesight, then what the hell took them so long to figure that out? Typical Orioles, I guess.