Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I Hate Gatorade

Gatorade has a commercial that is now my least favorite commercial ever. That is an accomplishment.

I often have the television on in the background, no matter what I'm doing. I may be paying very little attention to the TV, unless I hear something that grabs my attention. There is a Gatorade commercial that does this. It plays a very soft version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Without fail, this gets my attention every time. And then they start showing soccer highlights.

How dare they! How dare they take the song that has been the unofficial anthem of America's National Pastime, Baseball, for the past 98 years, and use it for soccer. SOCCER! It's wrong. Wrong!

Look, I know that soccer is the world's most popular sport. I even enjoyed playing it when I was young. Never have I enjoyed watching it. I've tried, a number of times. Seeing that it is the world's most popular sport, I have given it a chance on a number of occasions. What I have realized, the rest of the world is wrong. I believe this as much as I believe anything.

I'm very mad at Gatorade.

Speaking of commercials, how did the Geico Gecko get a British accent? Can you do that? Is that allowed? If I had a car, it would not be insured by Geico.


Warren said...

If I had a car, it would not be insured by Geico.

That's true. They know how you drive.

Sully said...

Speaking of commercials, here are my least favorite from a month and a half of watching the Red Sox on NESN.

3) NESN:
The network has commercials for itself ("one team, one network" now that it managed to pull 100% of its games off of free local TV) that feature ordinary Red Sox fans in everyday situations discussing how excited they are about the season.

Only they're not ordinary fans, they're actors. And they're saying ridiculous things like "Did you SEE that catch Coco made?" (um, no, I didn't, because he's played, like, four games all year) and "We got the pitching with Schilling... Beckett... (cut to another guy sitting in a barber's chair getting a haircut)... you throw Wakefield in there, and they're unstoppable." I don't know what's more preposterous about that last statement, the fact that he thinks a 39-year-old knuckleballer makes the rotation "unstoppable," or the fact that we're supposed to believe that the NESN cameras just happened to catch this guy IN THE MIDDLE OF A HAIRCUT.

There's a follow-up to this one now, talking about "all the ahms down on the fahm." These would be higher on my list if they weren't so bad they were funny. I wish someone would post them online so I could link to them. They're unbelievable.

2) Bob's Furniture:
I'm pretty sure they have these in New York - it's just this middle-aged guy and his annoying wife talking slowly, deliberately, and kind of loud about their discount furniture. I'll never buy anything from him.

1) Pepsi:
The one with Jimmy Fallon and what's-her-face dancing on top of cars in downtown New York. Between this and Fever Pitch, I'm convinced that Jimmy Fallon is trying to ruin everything I love.